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"Congratulations on that beautiful little bundle you just got!"
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"Hey! I heard you're having a baby! A little little baby. Congratulations!"
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"I want to say congratulations on your new kid, even though I wasn't the..."
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"On behalf of all the children of the world, congratulations on the birth..."
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"Hey congratulations. I can't wait to see your new baby."
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"Congratulations on your new child, even though he is an ugly bastard."
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"Congratulations! I can't think of anyone who would make a better parent..."
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"Congratulations on your new beautiful baby."
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"Hey! Congratulation on your new baby."
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"I'm a little offended that you didn't name the baby after me, but..."
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